I stopped looking through the screen of my phone and I just watched. I listened. Because in that moment, I knew I was watching something that would never be the same again. This was likely our last family vacation with all of us living under one roof. This was the beginning of the end of my nuclear family as it exists. I wanted to soak it in through a lens that was more powerful than my camera.
I watched my children play together and laugh like I've watched them for the last seventeen years. But this time was different. And tears streamed down my face.
"Are you okay, Mama?"
No, no, I'm not okay. But at the same time, everything is perfect. This will be the year of tears that are both happy and sad tears all at the same time.