Monday, May 9, 2011

Cheering Etiquette

I consider myself a bit of a sports-parent-cheering expert. I offer you some of my best tips. You're welcome.

1. Cheer for YOUR team and your kid. Be encouraging when a kid on your team does something well or tries hard.

2. Do not yell at your kid if they make a mistake. I don't see you out there trying to catch the baseball, I see you on the sidelines eating hot dogs and nachos and fanning yourself.

3. Don't yell at someone else's kid. Seriously, you are on the side of the field with the parents, not the coaches. Leave that to the coaches.

4. If I can hear you screaming and yelling from two fields away and STILL recoginize your voice, you have moved beyond being an adoring fan into being an annoying freak. Honestly, no one is that excited about a touchdown, I don't care who you are. You are just being obnoxious.

5. If you see a group of fans from the opposing team, please don't plunk yourself down in the middle of them. If you do decide to make that idiotic decision, don't take offense when we cheer for our boys.

6. Don't take credit on behalf of your team when our team makes a mistake. If our kid misses a handoff or a fly ball, it's not because your guys did something amazing and cause you to cheer maniacally. Our kids screwed up, thanks for cheering for that. Jerk.

So there you have it. May my kid's team always beat your kid's team. Because we are quietly that much more awesome than you. We don't have to be jerks, our kids are better than yours.

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