A few weeks ago, for the sixth grader, there was a TALK at school. Not just a TALK but THE TALK. Because we live in Texas and because they are in the sixth grade it was a lovely scary talk about how you shouldn't have sex before you are married because if you do, your thing will fall off. You know the one - about all the terrible diseases you can get and all the lovely completely not appropriate things they are putting in my poor little geeky son's head. STOP IT.
I digress. I went to the parent education portion on Tuesday, the kid's talk was on Friday. The Friday before a long vacation, mind you, the tricksters. So about Thursday, I work up the courage to say something to the kid. Casually, in the kitchen, while he's having a snack and cannot escape.
Me: So they're going to talk about sex tomorrow at school. What do you think about that? (Why beat around the bush, right?)
Charlie: (complete silence.)
Me: I went to a meeting about it the other night. The guy was funny.
Charlie: (crinkling paper, avoiding eye contact)
Me: Come on, Mitchell's mom said that when they did the game he wasn't the guy who got the disease, all the girls did. (Nice one, mom)
Charlie: MOM. Stop. I've just decided that I'm going to avoid it. All of it. Stop already.
Me: Fine. Let me know when you've decided to stop avoiding it and want to talk.
Can we please go back to explaining easier things now? Like nuclear science?