Saturday, April 24, 2010


There was a field trip on Friday to the movie theater. I felt like I should apologize to all the people who worked there and all the people who thought they could catch a midday movie while no one else was there. There were like 200 kids from our school there. You see, first and fifth grade went to go see Oceans. And they all needed popcorn. And to pee during the movie. Ahh, yes, just another quiet Friday morning at the movies.

But this isn't the flashback part. I'm getting there.

After the movie, both grade levels went to a local park to eat lunch and play at the playgrounds. We went to two different parks, as there were just SO MANY OF THEM.

I went with the first graders to Park A, we'll call it. One first grade teacher did not get the memo that the fifth graders were too cool for Park A, and she brought her daughter's (who is a fifth grader) lunch to Park A, while the fifth grade daughter was at Park B. So I ran it over to Park B, with the perfect excuse to embarass my fifth grader (I say in my loudest voice, usually across a crowded room, "HI SMOOCHIE BEAR!! MOMMY WUVS YOU!!" I never call him smoochie bear except when the situation calls for it, which is only in a room full of his peers. It's called humility training.) Ahem, so, where was I?

Oh, yes. Once upon a time, when I only had two children and one was able to be carried around in a bjorn, I thought I'd be a good mom and take my kids to the park! A new park! A fun park! Yay! I went to Park B. And I put the sweet little three year old on the slide and was going to run around to the bottom and catch him, because I was in a race for the mom of the year award. And as I turned to run to the bottom of the slide, life suddenly went in slow motion as I saw about five hundred enormous children come over a hill and swarm like fire ants on this park. Before I could get to the bottom of the slide, meanwhile pushing and shoving these giant children to the ground to get to my precious, I swear he had fallen and had been stepped on by these enormous children.

Now, you all know how these memories get skewed as time passes, but I swear I hadn't blinked before these monstrosities had completely taken over the playground.

And as I laughed and joked with these adorable fifth graders on Friday and pretended to eat their lunches, I had a moment where I felt like I had been punched in the gut and felt an overwhelming need to run to the playground and yell, "GRAB UP YOUR CHILDREN AND RUN. WATCH OUT! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! THESE GIANT CHILDREN ARE ABOUT TO SWARM!! PROTECT THE INNOCENTS!!"

I controlled myself. And as I got back to Park A, I saw a mom and dad leaving with their three year old and a baby in a bjorn. And I looked at those giant children swarming the playground there.

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