Saturday, December 6, 2008

The last three weeks, in one horrible runon sentence

First, there was the fact that I couldn't stand my children, that I couldn't stand being a parent and wanted to quit, but I couldn't bring myself to write about it because of the guilt, oh the horrible guilt, but then I was walking home from school one day and there was my oldest child's bike right there in the middle of the road, but he wasn't anywhere to be found, just his bike until about two seconds later (which, incidentally, is long enough to go through about twelve of the worst case scenarios ever imagined) and my husband emerged from my house which was in view of the bike and told me that he'd fallen off his bike but he was totally fine just a little over dramatic which means that he was also totally himself but it made me realize that my children are like air - as much as I wanted to quit being a mom, all those worst case scenarios made me realize that I simply cannot live without them, although I was perfectly happy to drive them to Mississippi for a week with a hug and a toothbrush while I sat at home and watched sappy sad movies on Thanksgiving and ate a pumpkin pie - who needs turkey, honestly - while my husband worked, which was unfortunate because I got two dead husband movies and it didn't sit all that well with me, but I moved on and watched more sappy movies that made me cry until it was time to pick up my children again, (really, it was a week already?) and then decided that who cares that there's only three weeks until Christmas, I'm going to rearrange my entire house, which I did until the oldest child vomited all over the carpet and then I couldn't sleep for three days with the horrible, terrible fear that practically gave me an ulcer that someone else was going to start heaving and I hate cleaning up throw up more than I hate cleaning toilets but no one did, so I got a lot of work done in my new sewing room, which used to be the play room, and now Christmas is practically over, so I don't really need to put out Christmas decorations, do I?

Oh, my, I'm out of breath. I promise to get writing again. I like my children again, which is miraculous, because we just got home from the mall. On a Saturday. In December. Oh, and we went to the toy store.

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