Monday, June 16, 2008

Securing my spot in the Bad Mother Hall of Fame

Not in the "I chopped my baby's arms off and now want out of the loony bin with my ovaries intact" Bad Mother Hall of Fame, but the "ordinary mother that my kids will complain about in therapy when they're in their thirties (or sixties)" Hall of Fame. Just to clarify. In case you were worried.

So, yeah, we all know that my middle child losing a tooth is a really big deal, right? She's almost seven and she lost her second tooth yesterday. I've been itching and bribing to pull it, but she won't let me near it. Anymore. So finally, it was so disgustingly loose, it fell out while she was looking at the floor putting her skirt on. Her words, not mine. Not the disgustingly loose part, buy you get the picture. She looked like she was wiggling her dentures.

This happened first thing in the morning (oddly enough she was getting dressed in the A.M., which is a rarity around these parts this week). And it was a really long day, and she reminded me several times. And she went to bed like a dream, which should have clued me in right then and there. But, alas.


I was awakened by sobs this morning. Like a knife to the heart, my poor broken hearted baby could only choke out the words, "I...looked...everywhere...she...didn't...come." And fell into my arms, completely unaware that I was the one who broke her heart. My mind raced to think of a way to get the dollar under her pillow and "find" it, but she was not leaving my side. Devastated, both of us.

She went back upstairs several times during the day to turn her room upside down, obviously to no avail. She wrote the tooth fairy a note. A rather long note which included a little bribery (I'll leave you a penny next time I lose a tooth) and a little sweet talking (If you do show up please take these 15 O's for hugs from me) with a hint of exasperation (If you don't come, I don't know what to tell you). And she left a picture of the tooth fairy flying above her bed with a shiny dollar in the tooth fairy pillow that hangs next to her bed. She taped the note next to the pillow with the tooth in it.

During the day, she came up with several scenarios - possibly she was on summer vacation, or Mrs. Tooth Fairy was on a date with Mr. Tooth Fairy. That child thought of nothing else today.

And then, bedtime rolls around again. I'm doing a little laundry and about to turn in, when I realize that I nearly forgot again. Does it get any worse than that?

I wrote a note in the fanciest writing I could, in an attempt at thwarting the readers of my handwriting in this house, and wrapped it around a gold dollar coin. I've never been so sure I was going to be caught in my life - I had to take the tooth fairy note and slip the dollar in the pocket without the world's lightest sleeper catching me.

This tooth fairy thing is stressful, I tell you. And this one, she'll never forget. When she finds out who the tooth fairy is, I'm in for it.


green.barn said...

You are reliving my life!

Anonymous said...

When I was a single mom one Christmas morning my kidos came to me to tell me that I had forgotten to fill their stockings! GROAN I made them all quick go back to bed and then called them to "come and get um". We made a funny memory we still laugh at today.