About three years ago, for mother's day, Sarge bought me fancy sunglasses. Super-cool, hip, expensive by our standards, sunglasses. I loved those sunglasses. I used the case they came in to store them. I was careful with them. But within three months, one of the lenses had popped out and though I repaired it, they never were quite the same. Then I lost them (don't ask where - okay, fine, I'll tell you, I lost them in my van. Worse than that, I lost them in the compartment in the ceiling of my van that is designed to hold - wait for it - sunglasses. What idiot loses their sunglasses in a sunglasses holder? For a year?). I squinted for quite some time, partly because I was holding out hope I'd find them, partly because I was too lazy to buy new ones, and partly because I was raised Catholic and I was doing penance.
Martyr no more, one random day in Target, I decided that I was going to buy myself new sunglasses. Armed with the best judges of fashion, the three people who will not ever lie to me about my appearance (EW, Mom, you smell like wet dog! Hey, guess what, I just washed the dog. And, giggle giggle giggle, Mom, you have hairy armpits! Hey, guess what, someone demanded that I find his backpack while I was in the shower and I didn't have time. Stop laughing at me!) Yeah, I brought the kids to Target while shopping for sunglasses.
I found a suitable pair. They were generic enough, blocked out the sun and only cost $10. Perfect.
Well, here we are, three years later, and I still wear the same pair of sunglasses daily. They are not the cool, cover-your-entire-face sunglasses, but I'm figuring these will come back in style at some point, and I'll still own them. Because I CANNOT lose them, no matter how hard I might try. I can't even lose them where they belong or in some other obvious place, like on top of my head. At least not for long. I will be wearing those sunglasses FOREVER. Just so you know.