Thursday, May 17, 2007

Neuroses

I have a fear. I actually only care a little that it's an irrational fear. I take that back - I don't care at all.

I won't dress my daughter in a bright blue swimsuit. I've gone so far as to purchase one and then return it, because I forget for a moment, then I become terrified again.

"Reason for return?"

"I think if I dress my daughter in that suit that she'll drown."

*awkward silence*

You see, about three years ago, I had a dream. A nightmare. One of those convoluted long dreams where twelve different things happen and nothing makes sense when you wake. But the main part is seared in my memory, never to be forgotten.

We were at a pool party, and I lost track of my middle child. I hunted for her everywhere, asked everyone where she was, and finally, I looked down. There was my daughter at the bottom of the pool, hair floating gently, peacefully even. Wearing a bright blue swimsuit. And, because it was a dream, I was paralyzed. I couldn't move. I couldn't save my beautiful daughter wearing a fun bright blue swimsuit.

So, for some odd reason, I think my dream won't happen if I don't let her wear a bright blue swimsuit.

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